Got offered a really amazing job, but it’s quite dangerous, high risk and I don’t know whether to take it or not :( and I wish my best friend would still talk to me so I could ask her advice! I still can’t understand how a best friend can cut your out their life after being close for so long!! Just because of my depression.
nights like this i wish i still had my best friend to talk to after a rough as fuck shift at work. feeling so shit about stuff from work, and then coming home and not doing what i would usually do by talking to her, and feeling even worse because i miss her so much. and i think about her every single day. and i dont know how to move on when i can’t stop thinking about why or how she could just cut me our her life. things are so shit, i should just take every antidepressant, cut my self and end it all.
im tired of feeling so down, and constantly thinking about hurting myself! i need a break, i don’t want to be here anymore.
hate feeling so down. feel like shit tonight as usual, so whats new?
i can’t believe how much it upset by transferring my pictures from my trip to america. Seeing me and my friend together, and all the places we went together, really made me feel sick to my stomach. Really suddenly upset me so much.
It was only October that we were doing all these things together, and then November she had cut me out her life completely because of my depression.
I can’t understand it, how is it possible? how can two people be such close friends, and then one day its over, and theres no way of getting in contact. i feel crushed.
If i knew how messed up things would get, I would have killed myself before she could have stopped me.
I can remember clearly standing with a knife, and a couple bottles of pills. I was standing cutting my arm, and I was about to open the pills when my friend came over. I regret not doing it every single day.
All i can think about now is leaving here and finally ending it.
soooo I emailed my friend, asking for closure? I guess. Asking for any sort of response. Its been over a month since she spoke to me. I don’t understand why, or how someone so close could just leave. I know there’s no chance she will reply, but I thought I would try one more time/